Spirituality and Relationships

Spirituality and Relationships-Love

We all know what love is all about. Spirituality and relationships require love. Sure, but...

What is love? An emotion? A feeling? A verb? An adjective? A noun?

Is love a choice we make?

Is love a random event?

Is love pre-destined?

Is true love reserved only for the lucky?

Religion and Spirituality

The foundations of most religions are love of self, love of others, and love of God. We have many different kinds of love: love of family, of our partners, of friends, of our communities, of our pets, of nature, of inanimate objects (things), of hobbies, and of work. We're going to discuss romantic relationships on this page, though. The lessons learned here certainly pertain to other relationships, though. Every relationship has a purpose-to help us to grow closer to God. This can be achieved in many ways, but this is the overall goal.

Do we fall into love?

Love is more of a spiritual practice, and you get better at it over time. In her book, Enchanted love, Marianne Williamson describes love as a spiritual practice very eloquently. I really like this book, and you can find it in my page of favorites by clicking below. You won't be disappointed in this book or in any of her books for that matter.

Spirituality and Relationships: Click here for favorites-look for spirituality section.

Spirituality and Relationships-Love

Love unites us and our beloved makes us whole!

Really? You weren't 'whole' before? Of course, you were. You were born whole. Our loves unite us, but is not required for us to be whole. We crave the connection with another; we crave the companionship; we crave the intimacy, but we are not made whole through anyone else. If you don't feel whole, decide what it means for you to be 'whole.' Then, find the ways to make that happen. It should not include another person. You should be prepared for what Marianne Williamson refers to as 'enchanted love' by believing that you are already whole and that this spirituality and relationship with another will help you to continue to be a better person and to feel closer to God.

Love at First Sight

Have you experienced love at first sight? You feel as if you've already met this person, and you are ready to give anything and everything for this person. You believe they feel the same way-or at least you hope so. Is this deep spirtiual love? Perhaps, but only time will tell if this is the kind of love that results in spiritual unity.

Most of us spend time with another and dive right in with both feet and two closed eyes. We don't see everything quite as clear as we might later on. Some refer to this as the honeymoon phase. How long does this last? Well, until about the time our eyes start to open and we see our beloved as the human that they are. Then comes the disillusion and the doubts. Does this mean it is over? Not necessarily. It depends how that disillusionment is handled.

Spirituality and Relationships-Love
There are many ways in which love is expressed to us and from us.


Have you experienced these expressions of love? One or two of them, maybe-more? Of course you have. Experience them more-open your eyes, your ears, and your heart. Find more of these expressions. They're all around us, but we don't often notice. It is through recognizing these expressions that we experience the love of God.

The big attraction of ROMANCE

We crave adventure, meaning, magic and that deep soulful connection with others. True romance satisfies these cravings. Click below to read more about the connections with others.

Spirituality and Relationships-love

Romantic or mystical love, as Marianne Williamson refers to it, exists on a different level than the level that we exist in typically. If you've ever been in love, then you know that true romantic love isn't something you can easily describe. You hardly eat, and yet you aren't hungry. The thoughts of your beloved dominate your mind.

You've got energy like you've never experienced. The sight of your beloved brings about real physical experiences like 'butterflies' in your stomach.

Hey, we all long for this, whether we can admit it or not. In fact, the lack of romance or the falling away of these feelings is probably one big reason for divorce. The romantic love fades and the daily love just isn't as exciting.
Sometimes the basis of love-respect, honor and so forth-actually fade. But, that's another story.

Our deepest human need is not material at all: our deepest need is to be seen. We need meaning, identity, love someone who has seen us through the most difficult times and yet still loves us. It does more than help us survive a soul-less world-it helps us to transform it. Use for family, also.

Relationships must be approached with reverence. It can transform your whole life and heal the areas that need healing. But, without reverence and respect, romance is dangerous. The dull, boring side of our lives and the exciting, dramatic times and the frustrating, sad times seem to overwhelm the love we have. We seem to forget just how very important that love relationship is. He who survives love has survived a difficult path. The path is sometimes dark, but the end of the road is well lit.


We all need TO BE SEEN. We need our beloved to stand up and notice and to show us that he or she sees us. We all want to be acknowledged-good or bad. We want to feel important to our beloved. We have to know that our beloved has seen us at our worst and through our darkest times and still loves us. Our beloved needs this from us, also.

Love helps us to thrive and survive in a world that sometimes seems to lack real soul.

Our home, with or without our beloved, must be our sacred ground.

Spirituality and Relationships-What about the Relationship you have with Yourself?
Have you created your own sacred space? We all must have this. Click here to learn how to get started or to make

Spirituality and Relationships-Love

The problem with many modern romances is that there is really a lack of romance. The physical relationship preceeds the real deeper knowing of one another. Once we become intimate physically, it all changes and gets complicated EVEN before we get into deeper stuff. Yet, we try to get closer. With 'mystical' relationships, there is spiritual healing-we call it forth in ourselves and in our beloved. If a relationship is not healing, it is not a spiritual relationship, and spiritual relationship must have love. Sounds simple? HA!

I don't think it is a secret that many of us are looking for love. We're looking even if we're with our beloved and have for awhile. We're looking for that deeper understanding and the self-discovery that comes with a spiritual relationship.

If we are with our beloved, why would we want more?

We get close-very close, but not close enough to experience spirituality and relationship. We sleep next to someone who stopped listening, and stopped feeling.
Why is true love/romance so tough? It takes a back seat to economic needs and physical needs. Real life gets in the way. So, the most important part of our life is missing for so many of us. Guess what? Your beloved sleeps next to someone who stopped listening and stopped feeling. Where is this relationship going-either to live in Mediocreville or Splitsville?

Why does this happen?
We're afraid to get really close enough to experience the divine in our relationships. We miss out on all that joy.

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Okay, so let's say that you are ready to take that next step and build a truly mystical relationship. Prepare for the trip. Know that every button you have will be pushed, every faith you have ever held will be tested, every bit of strength you have will occasionally be drained, every weakness will be revealed, every value challenged and then you'll be left on the side of the road. Does this sound like modern day divorce? Ah, perhaps EXCEPT, this journey is made together. That's right: together without any danger of this double occupancy room becoming single.
Have you noticed how relationships sometimes seem to bring out the worst in us?

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Love will push every button, try every faith, challenge every strength, trigger every weakness, mock every value, and then leave you there to die. But one you begin to turn the corner, to leave love’s amateur zone, there is nothing to compare to it. How do you get there? Together-with one another. According to Marianne Williamson, the highest purpose of intimacy is to call forth the beloved’s soul.
Once love has made it through our walls, our heart is changed forever-our lives are changed forever. This is no easy task, it is not for the weak, it changes everything-it changes your heart; it changes your destiny.

Have you ever thought that a purpose of relationships is not to learn to hide our weak areas, but a place where we can learn to safely show them all? If the purpose of relationships is to grow and get closer to God, then isn't it okay to be human?

This is true vulnerability. Think about how much strength it takes to be vulnerable. You can't play games and be vulnerable, too. The rewards can be huge, though.



Tell the truth about your feelings. Honor the other person, but be honest.

Be Kind to one another

Be open to yourself AND to your beloved- Sounds easy, doesn't it. Here is the catch: be open about the glory, the tragedy, the shadows, the wicked side...you get the picture. Be open about the side that doesn't seem so loveable.

Recognize what you've got together, and treat it with the care of an egg. Handle it carefully, with love, with kindness and respect. Treat yourself in the same way, but hold that relationship as high as you possibly can-even on the bad days.

Forgive the little things-forget about them too!
This might be tough, but consider if the offending behavior or event is something that is really important in the big picture. Forgiving is huge!

Do yourself a favor, and consider forgiveness!

Make your relationship your sacred ground-your safety zone, your place to land.

Think with your Spiritual Mind more than your Physical Mind.

Physical Mind: limits, guilt, error, anger, sadness, taking, tears, fear, closed

Spiritual Mind/our spirit: forgiveness, giving, joy, laughter, courage, open

Give gifts- Meaningful, thoughtful gifts that will touch their heart and show that you've been listening and you know what matters to them.

Don't hold back the compliments It goes back to the basic need of feeling SEEN. If your beloved has to ask for compliments, it doesn't count.

Show Gratitude Remember what (who) brought you together in the first place-Thank God for that. It is important to take daily note of what you appreciate about your beloved-DAILY.
Even on the tough days, think about what you are grateful for. It helps to write it down, too.

Write love notes That's right-love notes. Don't just thank God for what you love about your beloved (gratitude). Write it down and send a little note. Leave them in interesting surprising places.

Get to know your beloved all over again. Look at him or her through the eyes of a new lover. Be a good listener and ask good questions. Pay attention like you really care-because you do. Don't let the lesser important aspects of life get in your way.

Relationships have to be based in love. Learn more about well being and spirituality.

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